What is it about Advent?

What is it about advent that makes me want to record what I'm thinking? Is it that I'm on vacation when it begins and thus have more time to think and ponder and write? I wrote consistently up until day 15 last year. Will I make it all the way through this year? I would like to try but I am not sure I'll have something to say each day. I guess an attempt is better than none at all.

So far my readings from the little advent book my church gave out have shaken me a bit. The questions we are to journal about cut right to the core. I actually feel slightly angry as we enter this season of waiting. I know I'm supposed to feel anticipation but I just don't. I am sick of waiting. I feel like waiting has been my whole life and I'm tired. I don't know if I believe that there is something worthwhile at the end of all of the waiting. I'm hoping that if I see this season through and am honest and open that maybe I'll find the joy I'm meant to experience.

I suppose I know what advent is about. Literally. But what does it mean today for me? What do I do with it? What will I focus on? What am I supposed to learn through it all? I guess I will have to wait and see.